Adopting a Child: Thoughts – Part 1

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately… about babies. It’s pretty much all I’ve thought about the last few days. The funny part is I’ve been thinking a lot about adopting a baby instead of having my own. Ideally, I’d like to do both. Of course, I have always been curious what our child would look like… but more I’ve always wanted to see their personality and watch them grow. I’ve stopped to think how I would explain my adoption decision to my future child(ren) and it ties into my relationships with my family. My favorite part about my family isn’t my blood relationship to them – it’s my personal relationship. Just because someone is from your same blood line doesn’t mean you’re going to love them more or less – I think the relationship you have with a person is what makes them important to you. For example, my parents are divorced. Because of this decision, I have a wonderful step-mom who I care about and treasure as much as my birth parents. My husband is in the same situation – he loves his step-father as much as I love my step-mom. So if these relationships can grow into something I wouldn’t trade the world for, then how would it be any different with children?

This “self-discovery” really made me excited about my future relationships with my bio and adopted child. But I was still nervous about how an adopted child would feel when he/she looked at my husband and I and saw that we looked different (I have my heart set on adopting from either Korea or China). I did some reading and it seems like as long as you don’t pretend there isn’t a difference and help your child embrace their background – it really helps them with identity and being different from everyone else. I think this is really great 🙂 One of the things I’ve always envied in being American is that don’t have any strong cultural ties to any particular race. Being labeled “Caucasian” always seemed to leave me feeling… like I was floating in the middle of nowhere. I’ve always been jealous of my friends who had a culture they “belonged” to. One of the great things about being married to my husband is I was invited to take part in their Puerto Rican/Cuban heritage. They accepted me and it made me feel like I was part of something with real history and traditions. But back to our future adopted child – I would really enjoy learning and experiencing their Asian (and Spanish!) heritage with them.

Anyway – more on this topic later. I’m on my way out the door!

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2 thoughts on “Adopting a Child: Thoughts – Part 1

  1. I love to hear your thought process on things. And, yes, it isn’t about the “blood” relationship. I believe it’s about being loved for who you are, no matter what culture you come from. As for the feeling like you don’t belong, remember that American’s are relished by other countries, just as you do theirs. No matter what side of the fence you grow up on, the other side always seems to be more interesting. If you take a look at where your family comes from, you’ll find you have a lot of “different cultures” right in your own back yard .. it’s just a matter of how you look at it.

    xoxo
    Mom

  2. That’s true… actually it’s funny you say that b/c I recently got into a discussion with someone about some of the good parts of being an American… mostly about how open this country is to different viewpoints, ideas or religions. I don’t think I could adopt a child from another race as freely as I would here. I do love living here, it’s just different from other cultures when you look at our history – it’s just so new!

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